Shared Custody, Long Distance

Yesterday, my house was eerily quiet by 8pm. The laundry was feasible in a few loads. The floors were clean and our grocery bill was cut in half it's normal total.

It’s Summer, which means 4 out of our 5 children go spend quality time with their other parents for 6 weeks. Zack’s babies head down South to Texas and my daughters go South-East to Kentucky.

I hate it.

Well intentioned people recommend using the time to spend extra time with my husband. Or mention that Mia must love having her mommy and daddy all to herself. 

But all I can think about is how much I am missing. 

A toothless-smile greeting me when I get home from the office. A chaotic dinner around the table where laughter bellows through the air. Requests for books to be read, pancakes to be flipped, and kisses to be smooched.

My husband wasn’t greeted with beaming faces carrying his breakfast in bed on Father’s Day. I didn’t get to see the glow of bright fireworks on their faces this July Fourth. We haven’t applied Calamine lotion to mosquito-bitten legs or lathered up excited children with sunscreen in preparation of pool time.

What we do to make the separation a positive experience though is what matters. We web-cam and chat on the phone. Share minute details of our days with the kids and remind them just how much we love them.

I’m very blessed to have my own family and friends in the same town as my ex-husband. My friends have posted pictures of the girls at barbecues and church camp. I’ve gotten to see their beaming faces with their grandparents and other loved ones which makes the hurt sting a little less. Though our situation is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, my kids are pretty lucky. They have heaps of people that love them to pieces. Truly, what more could I ask for?

It’s true, even with children, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. They return to Nebraska this week-end and I am ready! I have renewed patience and I’ve taken time for me. They have enjoyed their time away as well and are anxious to get back to their life here.

Long distance shared custody is more common than ever. Who else is spending their summers missing pieces of their family? How do you cope and what brings you strength?

Car Accident, a Good Thing?

I wrote this week about our journey to San Antonio last week-end. We had a car accident on the way down and it changed my perspective. Read the story HERE.

Also, check out our online photo album for some beautiful pictures of our vacation: HERE.

I MISS YOU!

Blogging has become a favored hobby of mine.

It's also an easy way for me to keep family connected.

But....work is quickly consuming all of my time. I started my own business, Sarah Tucker Marketing Services, with an expectation of it growing V.E.R.Y. S.L.O.W.L.Y.  I'd stay-at-home with Mia and be able to generate some income at the same time. I was jaded from the agency and their "claim" to be a family-friendly work environment. 

This business seemed to be the best of both worlds.

Fortunately for my wallet, the growth didn't happen slowly.

It's a funny story actually. One Sunday afternoon about 10 weeks ago or so, I went to Williams-Sonama for a free cooking class. While learning how to braise a pork roast I was standing by a man that couldn't stand still. Fidgeting around, helping me with my coat, grabbing me a glass of water if I coughed or even cleared my throat...I was almost worried. I thought the man was flirting with me! Come the end of the class we chatted for a few minutes about what I do. I explained I recently got my MBA and was starting my own marketing services company. He immediately pulled out his business card and asked me to call him on Monday. I sound like exactly what he needs, he said.

I left the class a little bewildered. I immediately grabbed my cell phone and called Zack to explain the story. I told Zack, he either wants me to be his next girlfriend or his next director of marketing and I honestly can't tell ya which one. :)

Well, long story short, he wasn't flirting. He truly engaged my talents and skills and I am working 40+ hours per week for his companies. He is partner in 3 IT related companies:  Jelecos, Data Media Solutions, and Heimes Resources.

What exactly the future holds, I have no idea. But for now, I am holding on tight. Enjoying working on marketing and sales motivation projects that are truly 100% better than my wildest dreams of my business!

All of that to say, I'm sorry. Sorry there haven't been pictures of the babes and updates on their musings. I'm hoping that with Summer means I will get the camera out more often and spend a few moments keeping you posted on our lives.

Much love and big hugs!!!!!

Confession's of a Stepmother

I ruffled a few more feathers this week on Momaha.com. It's almost like I am narcissistic I am starting to feel. ;) I just can't help but write real and write raw emotion. It's who I am, true to myself at all times.

Being a stepmother isn't easy and will never be the most rewarding job. Visit Momaha to read more.

New Hair

I went to see my darling Mrs. Aly last week for my last trim & color before she went on maternity leave! While I was there she offered to also do ALL 4 GIRLS the next day!!!  It was a jam-packed hour and 15 minutes of snipping and "sit up straights", "look in the mirror", and "isn't she adorable!"

What made this day even extra special ----- this was Mia's VERY first haircut!!!  I know, I know. Why the heck did I wait so long? Simple answer. Those curls.....I was terrified that a hair-cut would make them all go away. And I adore them.

So stinkin' cute, right? And the curls bounced up a little better after the cut!!! :) Mommy's very pleased!

Livie wanted a super short bob. I love this look on her!!!

This picture of Skyler pulls at my heart strings. She looks for one GORGEOUS and for two OLD! What happened to this little girl who was running around singing Sesame Street and loving Blue's Clues? 

Abby got a few layers but in the bottom of her hair. They look super cute and help the cut flip out a little with out a drastic change. She has the most healthy, shiny, beautiful brown hair that it does look best long!:) 

My gorgeous daughters.....oh, how I love them!

Call me tolerant? I say it's LOVE

My family and I have had a very difficult week. Some incidents occurred that caused me a lot of pain. I wrote about it all on my Momaha blog. Please read and share your comments. My goal truly is to start a conversation about something people don't always like to talk about..... CLICK HERE

PS I promise to write a blog post not directing you to Momaha this week. I have some great stories to share of the kids -- it's just been crazy.

Much love,

Sarah 

Time To Rant

So I decided to rant a bit this week throughout my blog for Momaha.  It's the perfect summation of my opinions on this whole "mommy war" culture that social networking and blogging has aided in our age.

Check it out and feel free to share your comments. Bloggers ADORE comments you know:)

My Business

Friends and Family:

I finally have some logo choices for my business!  It is really starting to come together.  I am now working with 2 large clients and 2 small clients.  The perfect meld of marketing development, appointment setting, sales training...I'm doing it all and loving it!

I'd LOVE and greatly appreciate your feedback on these 2 logos.

Also, if you aren't already you can follow my biz on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sarah-Tucker-Marketing/190978538348 Spread the word to any small business owners that I could potentially help!!!

The Great Sweater Fight

Last week Trendon and I were poised in a sweater war... 

This 7 1/2 year old boy is quickly becoming a dude I just sit back and marvel at. He is really carving his own in fashion and hair styles -- have you seen his mow-hawk?!

All of the children were getting ready for school last Tuesday when I discovered NONE of Trendon's clothes fit.  I swear, the weeks before Christmas he had a dresser full of clothes that fit.  Blame it on a growth spurt, right. We searched high and low in his closet for a shirt with sleeves that at least reached his wrist to no avail.

Lightbulb moment!!  About 2 years ago I bought a lot of clothes off of ebay that I had packed away for him!  I ventured down into the basement closet to find the box of clothes that I just knew would make him the happiest boy on the planet!  Inside this box were a couple pairs of pants, a trench coat, and a sweater.  Not an entire wardrobe, but enough to get us through the week until I could get out to shop for him.

I thought I should receive a "step-momma of the year award" for this great discovery.  Cute, cute clothes.  Perfect size.  No more sleeves that are 2 inches too short, no more belly showing when he lifts his arms.

Boy, was I wrong.

Here is a photo of the sweater in question:

Cute, right?  I LOVED it and never thought twice that Trendon would feel disgust just by looking at it!  He was so appalled that he started crying immediately!?!  Then I left the room, assuming he would get dressed.  I came back to find him standing in the middle of his room, no shirt on, and no sweater in hand.  He had quickly thrown it up into the top of his closet hoping I'd forget about it!!!! I asked him where the sweater was and he threw the "I don't know look." This, at our house, is comparable to lying.  So unfortunately, it's now a he-can't-win-at-this-game scenario.

We called Daddy for reinforcement.  Daddy says, absolutely he has to wear the sweater now that there has been deceit.

Trendon is enraged but promises to get dressed.

He emerges from his room looking like the dough-boy 15 minutes later!!  He put a think polo under AND over top of the sweater!!!

"It's on!" he smirks.

Ok, Ok I get it.  He hates the sweater.  I send him to school ticked off and mad at me. Didn't feel like a huge win for the step-momma at that point.:(

That afternoon, all if forgiven and forgotten when I tell Trendon I'll give the sweater away to another boy who will enjoy it.

Imagine my surprise this morning when he emerges from his room in this:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!

Someone explain this to me.  This sweater is SUPER cool but the dog sweater is horrendous?

Ah, the joys of mothering a boy.  I need some super sonic powers to figure out this kid's sense of fashion....or perhaps a trip to the mall together will suffice. :)

Igniting a Debate

Not typically my forte - but I forced myself out of my comfort zone and shared my parenting philosophy on the Momaha blog this week. I have caught some heat from the comments already.  Please feel free to share your opinions.  http://www.momaha.com/article/20100129/MOMS02/100129496/-1/moms

Clown Mia

Wow, this girl is growing FAST!  I am enjoying her so much.  Her beauty, her sense of humor, and her intelligence are already making me worry about the teen years to come;).

She's the clown of the house.  Being the youngest in a big family must be fostering this attitude she has, but it's nothing short of A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.

She's been speaking in full sentences for a month or so now... I just must record some of my favorites before I forget -

"I don't like that Momma"

"Momma, I said I wanna hold you!"

"The guys wanna play Mia?"

(The guys are Skyler, Trendon, Abbie, and Livie)

and then this week ---- a new song:

"Woah Woah Woah your boat......ma - willy ma - willy ma -willy ma-willy ma-willy....(she likes the Merrily part the best!)

It's entirely too much fun being a Momma.  I feel beyond blessed today!

Girl Scout Cookie Results

My little Livie is all sorts of excited!  She exceeded her cookie goal by over 22 boxes!!  Thanks to all my amazing friends and family that helped that happen:)


We will be busy little bees when those cookies come in -- delivering all over town!!  

New @ Momaha.com

Making friends as an adult shouldn't be so hard....  Read more here.

I Heart Twitter

Follow me @tuckersarah or my business @tuckermarketing

Like I Needed Another Hobby

This week I have been absolutely bitten by the bug.


The bug to create something from nothing.


To craft bags, skirts, dresses, aprons, curtains...


pillows, purses, and hair bows...


Yes, the SEWING bug!!!


Abbie received a sewing machine for Christmas and I have had one collecting dust in the master closet for at least 4 years. With her desire to learn to sew I just had to resolve that I needed to learn!


I've been blessed to meet some mommas who are incredibly talented and are willing to be extraordinarily patient with a girl like me with 0 creative talent!


Introducing.....my first project:

Don't look too close at the crooked lines - this was my first crack at it.  Now, I hope to make my 4 beautiful girlies and I a coordinating skirt/dress something or other...  I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Be Inspired: MLK JR Day

The kids are home from school in honor of the remarkable Martin Luther King Jr. who helped facilitate change in our world. One of my most memorable college lectures was by Dr. John Ernst in American Studies, my very first semester of college - ever. I searched this morning, to no avail, for the lecture notes since it's been 10 years since that class. So though I can't recall the details, I can recall the inspiration I felt in my heart.

I feel so honored to have such a transformative figure in American history to help teach my children about basic life virtues. 

Violence doesn't solve anything.

Stand up for what you believe in.

Set your goals high and be diligent to work towards them.

A constant and devoted faith in God can enable you to lead a life that makes a difference.

May his legacy inspire us to stand up for what we believe in and be a positive voice for activism in our communities.

Family, Blessings, Haiti

Find my thoughts here.

Lessons From An Ex-Wife: on Momaha

I am now a month into my new role as a Contributing Writer for Momaha.com and I am loving it! It's a welcome source of expression for me as I can find a much broader audience with the added benefit of being supported by the Omaha World Herald. At this time, there are 11 of us Mommy Bloggers who contribute on our specific day - mine of course is, Sunday! 


My post this week is entitled:  Lessons From An Ex-Wife.  Personal? A little, but from my heart.  Please take a moment to read and share your views (bloggers love nothing more than engaging an audience through comments!!!).  I appreciate your support in this new adventure I am on!!

Gift of Sharing

It's Girl Scout cookie time again!! Can I hear a HIP, HIP, HORRAY?

What's even more exciting to me is a new program the Girl Scouts have adopted called, The Gift of Sharing.  This program allows people to purchase cookies to be donated by the troop!  What a great way to give back, even if you aren't interested in cookies for yourself.

Olivia's troop has chosen the Omaha Children's Crisis Center for their charity.  The Children's Crisis Center provides a safe place for kids who are placed in emergency protective care.  If you choose to purchase a box for The Gift of Sharing - that box of cookies will be delivered to the crisis center to be enjoyed by these children going through such a difficult time.

Message me if you'd like Olivia to call and get your cookie order.  If you don't order from her, I encourage you to find a troop participating in this program and give back!

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about the blog...yea, I'm weird.  Anyway, I realized I am way behind on my picture sharing of the kids.  *SORRY Kentucky family!* Here are some pics from Christmas for your enjoyment.... :)

Our attempt of a family shot!  Grandma Carol bought the kids these adorable Christmas outfits---Thank you Grandma!!  The kids LOVE them.  You should have heard Trendon's commentary on the tie -- he is quite dapper I agree:)

What's better than a silly face shot full of people you love?!?!  Meet my parents & brother!  LOVE THEM.  Sis was back in KY, next time I want a silly shot of all 5 of us!!!

Look:  I really, really did it!  Special shout-out one more time to the most supportive husband in the whole world.  Without him, this would have NEVER happened!!

Christmas at Grandpa Clays!!

Hope everyone had a beautiful holiday season!  Ours lasted about 1 month, seriously.  We had some wicked weather in Nebraska which caused Grandma Tucker's christmas to be postponed til New Years. With another storm on it's way today I'd predict we'll have had over 35 inches of snow in 30 days.  I ain't in Kentucky anymore ya'll!! :)

Happy Happy New Year!

It's 2010, baby!!!  What are you resolving to change this year?

My hubby is a pessimist and will NOT draft resolutions.  However, I will forever be the eternal optimist and will always create my little list of hope to do better at's.  I think the reflection is progress in itself!!

There are so many things that I hope this new year will bring to our family and some are too personal to share to the world.  However, this is part of my list (read more on my blog at Momaha.com:  --

1.  Read 2 books per week.  I was incredibly inspired during the commencement address at my graduation last month by Dave Anderson, founder of the restaurant chain:  Famous Dave's.  He spoke in detail of the amount of reading he does weekly - newspapers, magazines, and books to keep his mind growing and learn new trends.  For me, I will start with 2 books per week.  For accountability purposes, I plan to post those books here!!  I'd be forever grateful if you took a moment to post your favorite book title in the comments.  I'll need a huge list if I am to read 104 books this year!!!!

2.  Quit Smoking.  This was on my list last year and is continued on over.  This is a hard one because as much as it stinks and is a horrible habit.  I love it. :(  Someone help me!!!!

3.  Find more patience.  I think every mother I have talked to about resolutions has this on their list.  If someone could please create a magic potion more powerful than coffee to help all us mom's of little ones.....they could quickly join the ranks of People's Most Influential!!

4.  Blog more.  It makes me happy.  I love to write and know the best way to improve is to keep on writing.  My goal:  write every single day no matter what.  Some days, my heart will be full of stuff to personal to actually blog about -- but I will write it somewhere!!!

**Don't forget to post those books for me in the comments.